Shoes...Men??

Shoe Shopping

I would presume to say that all women at one time or another had to shop for just the “most perfect” shoe for that one special occasion. 

Maybe a family wedding or anniversary was slated on the calendar or the first 10^th class reunion where you wanted to outshine that class beauty bitch from yore.  Or better yet, to stick it to that ex high school boyfriend for dumping you in your senior year.  Whatever the reason, the gauntlet is thrown, and so the shopping begins.

According to Yahoo there exist over 40,000 shoe companies in the US with only God knows how many pairs of shoes!  So, of course, a woman selects the largest shoe store close to home for convenience sake’s.  It is a well-known fact that shoe shopping should not take place at night—after a day on your feet, they miraculously change size.  To be safe, shop during early daylight hours. 

Now that we have chosen the location and time, one must focus on the shoe itself:  high heels in the right color.  The special dress needs, no, demands (!) the height of a heel.  Too short and the dress looks frumpy; too tall and the dress, with you attached, brings up a vision of an Amazon Beauty towering above the crowd.  Yes, a heel with just the right height.  Now, the color…a lady doesn’t want matchy-match.  The differences between the shoes and the dress should be oh so slight.  The melding of the two is best when differences do exist, but needs harmony as well.  Take a redheaded bombshell dressed in a halter green dress wearing orange heels.  Not a pretty picture.  There are myriads of tones and hues to choose, just make sure the entire package lends itself to a well-defined, workable package.  Being on a budget also means that this package better be just the right price as well.  You want enough money invested in the well-made shoe to last and to have that certain “sparkle” to razzle-dazzle your friends and family.

You now enter the shoe department and casually look over the great variety of shoes displayed.  My, on first glance, you might think you’ve entered a candy shop.  Yum.  Yum.  But, one by one, you narrow down the selection—wrong type, wrong color, wrong height, too matchy-match, too expensive, too cheap (they tend to fall apart after a couple of trial runs!), too ordinary—lacking pizzazz to make a statement with you and the dress.  Stop!  There’s one pair that really catches your eye—just “perfect”.  The salesman takes your request for your shoe size and returns shortly.  “Sorry, Ma’am, but we don’t have that in your size,” he replies.  Damn. The last pair was already taken by some other damn woman looking for just what I’m searching for!!!!  Now it’s back to square one.  Not finding the right shoe leads you to check out another shoe store where you begin the same **$&#$ process.

And that, my friends, is exactly my experience with online dating.